March 5th, 1925

Dear Betty,

I can hardly bring myself to contemplate what I wrote you on our trip to Egypt. I lost my way. 

It must have been due to all the connections with my honeymoon with Searle. That must be it. I cannot imagine what I would have done when the illusion broke had Violet not been here. Doctor Webber has given me a tonic which has dulled my panic somewhat and I am writing to keep myself awake for now.

It feels like I've lost Searle all over again and my heart is breaking. We arrived at Port Sayid, and Searle helped me unload our baggage. He looked at me and smiled, I got was called to interpret some Arabic for Louis and Doctor Webber and then... then he just wasn't there. He had just vanished. 

Something inside me just broke. I fell apart when I could not find Searle, and nothing around us reminded me of him. It has been so long since nothing was familiar, I felt so alone and frightened. 

We are taking the train to Cairo today where we will be staying at the Shepheard's Hotel as per Lord Covington's plans. I had so been looking forward to being here, but now the whole affair feels like the desert around me- dull and devoid of any life.

Please don't think ill of me,

Rose